3 things *not* to do on the first day of your cycle
Updated: Jul 24, 2019
Last week, I posted an article called “Three Things To Do On The First Day Of Your Moon Cycle.” Now I’m sharing three things you should NOT engage in during the first couple of days of your cycle.
Every woman is different, so some of this might not resonate with you. As always, take what serves you and leave the rest. All of this is designed to help you navigate from your feminine core, like a compass guiding you on your journey. But ultimately, you are your own best judge and the one who knows your body best; so trust your feelings and your own inner guidance on what is right for you to do and what’s not.
1. Have (wild) sex. This period (pun intended) of the month is a great time to seek out solitude. See what it’s like to keep your body for yourself this time. If you have the opportunity, you can even sleep on your own. Normally this might mean that you’ve had a fight with your partner, or that something is off in the relationship. But this is a conscious quest for solitude, and it can serve you to come back home to yourself. Only when you’re truly connected to and at home in yourself can you be fully present with your partner. You can explain to him (or her) the deeper meaning of this practice and ask for their support. Get them on board, and once they understand your deeper why, they’ll most likely be supportive and understanding. If you feel vulnerable or in pain, you could ask them to just hold you. In receiving this kind of unconditional nourishment, you’re strengthening your relationship by bonding with the help of the love-hormone oxytocin, which is released through loving touch.
2. Have difficult conversations or making major life decisions. These things are better left for the time in your cycle when you feel stronger, more resilient and outgoing. This usually happens during the first two weeks after menstruation, up until and including the time of ovulation, before PMS. So the next time you have to give an important presentation, have a challenging conversation with your boss or life partner, or are wanting to make a major life decision, wait until after your period is over. Use the time of your menses to take a sacred pause for soul searching. Step back, write in your journal and ask for clarity. When you really ask and listen within, you will get the answer and you’ll know exactly how to handle these situations with grace and ease. Then, schedule these conversations or decision-making dates for the more sunny weeks of your cycle.
3. Be super active with work, errands, cleaning, and other projects. Being constantly busy may get you accolades from the world, but it can also be a means for you to avoid yourself. Rest is underrated. But rest is where the soul’s riches reside. In nature, you can see cycles of rest and activity all around: days turn to nights, summer turns into fall and then winter. As we transition into the second half of the year after the Summer Solstice, the days become shorter and the nights become longer again.
This is nature’s way slowing down with the arrival of fall; and how to rest in the barren stillness of winter’s cold. Menstruation is like winter. It’s a time for rest and reflection. So if you can, don’t cook for the whole family. Ask someone else to cook or get takeout. Wrap up projects and to-do’s before your cycle starts, so you can rest as much as possible. If you have to work, practice self-care: bring a cosy scarf you can wrap up in, or a thermos with tea or hot soup. If it feels safe, you can even tell your (female) coworkers that you’re feeling a little off and want to be left alone if your schedule allows for this.
Nobody will take care of you if you don’t start taking care of yourself first. Self-care is not selfish. Every woman needs to make her own self-care and well-being a top priority. Only when we are truly happy and fulfilled from within by living in alignment with our Big She can we be truly serving and nurturing to others.
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