How the F-word can help you get anything you want
Updated: Jul 24, 2019
Marianne Williamson teaches this prayer: “Dear God, I am the faucet, you are the water.” As in, I am the container through which Your magic flows.
And Jen Sincero writes in her bestselling book You Are A Badass At Making Money, “Desire literally means dey-sire, of the father. And whether or not you believe in God, your desires were bestowed upon you when you became your earthly self.”
I recently got a rib tattoo (yes, a very painful place) that says “With God, all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26). It reminds me that I can’t and don’t have to do everything by myself, but life is so much easier when I trust and surrender that something else which is bigger than me.
What do these three examples have in common? To me, it is the willingness to let go and surrender in trust to something much larger than ourselves, the knowing that the universe has got our back, and that our highest will and God’s will for us are not necessarily separate.
So the F-word I am talking about is Faith.
Faith in Life, or God as you understand it.
Faith that you can surrender in trust, because the Holy Spirit, your Soul or Big She (a.k.a. your inner guide whose sole purpose is to bring you back into alignment with the great I AM) is madly in love with you.
And faith that you can loosen your white-knuckled grip and stop micromanaging every little thing or person in your experience. Isn’t this micromanaging and trying to control what's beyond our control what gives us knee-jerk anxiety, random panic attacks and sleepless nights? What if we could all just relax a little more?
This is about trusting that life with it's infinite wisdom will work itself out when we stop interfering, and that we are always guided from within.
Surrender doesn’t mean giving up, it means giving in. Letting go and letting God.
It does not mean giving up on your goals and dreams, but rather loosening your tight grip on them and dropping the belief that you must know it all ahead of time and force your way there. Ease leads the way, and effortlessness will always guide you home.
This doesn’t mean that we should all slack off on the couch every day and be lazy. What I'm talking about is inspired action, instead of manipulative struggle. With faith, trust and surrender, doors will open up that have previously been closed, you will see a new way ahead where there was only darkness before, and you'll feel an overall sense of being held, even when the going gets tough sometimes.
Here’s an example from my own life
A few years ago, I felt painfully stuck. It was the middle of winter, I was cold to the bones and incredibly lonely. I had just left a long-term relationship, and my life as I knew it was over. Not only had I left my partner, I had also walked away from my dream-home and a happily secluded life in the Swedish woods. I was now living with friends and working part-time as a teacher (which I didn’t enjoy very much). I was nursing my fractured heart, trying to find a way back home, because deep down, I felt confused and lost.
I didn’t know what next steps to take, and I had no big plans for the future. My dream had just dissolved into sweet nothingness, and I was staring at a blank page that was my life.
One particularly grey Saturday afternoon (I had just fought my way through a blizzard to reach a friend’s cozy downtown cafe for a comforting cuppa chai), a copy of Yoga Girl’s new book grabbed my attention. Rachel Brathen was sharing her story of how she went from being a heavy drug user (walking home totally high and without shoes through the endless streets of Stockholm after a night of partying and drinking); to living on a beautiful beach in Aruba, spending her days practicing yoga and meditating and running a successful online business.
One thing that struck me the most in her inspiring story was how she subscribed her incredible transformation to how much she was able to surrender to the universe. I don’t exactly remember the prayer she’d use, but it was something along the lines of “thy will be done.”
This lit me up. I felt a new optimism spring inside of me. As I rode the subway home, I decided to give this practice a try. I doubled up on my devotion, and wholeheartedly surrendered all my fears and desires over to God and my Big She.
I remember kneeling on the thick purple rug of my own room, bent over in child’s pose, arms stretched out in front of me, open palms. I prayed: “Dear God, I surrender over to you my desire for a life partner. I surrender over to you my desire to leave Sweden and move to a warmer place. I surrender over to you my desire for my own home. I cannot do this by myself. Please, show me the way. Guide me from within. Thy will be done, always. Amen.”
I did this with utmost sincerity, since this was the only way I knew how to move forward. I did not have the energy to make anything major happen by myself at that time. During these weeks and months, by body, mind and being were too exhausted to do anything but let go, completely handing myself over to the Divine. This is when we make space for the magic to happen. The ego has to be brought to its knees before we're ready to surrender completely. As Leonard Cohen sings in one of his songs, Jesus chose to walk upon the water, because only drowning men and women could see him.
A couple of weeks later, a deep and devoted man walked into my experience. He soon turned out to be the love of my life. Nine months later, we were married. Exactly one year later, we packed our bags and boarded a plane, flying first class to New York City, where we built an amazing life and home together. We spent an incredible year there, before life coaxed us on to new exciting adventures.
The point is this: God and your Big She know you more intimately than you could ever know yourself. Your Soul, or Big She, is already living your deepest desires, wether these are known to you or not. She is your guide on the way to embodying them in the physical realm, so you can happily join Her in the party. You may not always know what your deepest desires are, and it is not even necessary. The most important thing is that you know how to have faith in something bigger than your Mini-Me, the small self. Something that knows and loves you unconditionally, whatever you do. God wants what you want in the most sacred, pristine places of your heart, and your Big She will never give up on guiding you there.
Prayer and meditation are modalities which work incredibly well for me to step into faith and surrender and connect me inwards. These practices get me in direct contact with the Divine. They feels comforting, grounding, calming. My fretting mind can relax for a while, and as I come back into alignment, I am at peace. Your practice may be something else, and I invite you to explore your own flavour of faith, trust and surrender. Once you’ve found it, play it hard, because it is what brings you closer to living the life of your wildest dreams.
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