How to *finally* fill the inner void with love
Updated: Jul 24, 2019
When was the last time someone was harsh towards you or even deliberately insulted you? How did that feel?
Chances are, you felt hurt. What did you do with that pain? Could you stay open and let it move through you, shaking it off like an antelope that just escaped the lion's jaw?
Or did you clench up and ignore it?
If you chose the ladder (which most of us are conditioned to do!), the pain has stayed stuck in your body up until now. When the energy can't move (emotion is energy in motion), it creates blockages that manifest as feelings of disconnect, numbness, and being stuck.
This has begun in early childhood, when you were too young to deal with painful emotions. When your parents scolded or ignored you, you reasoned that it's unsafe to freely express yourself and you shut down a part of your playful, happy, loving essence.
You started to develop a self that's based in fear and separation (the ego), while more and more removing yourself from your Divine essence (love). Since you disconnected from the love inside of you, you're now mostly relying on fear (your ego) to navigate your world.
Throughout life, we have all developed layers of energetic armour in our hearts and bodies to protect ourselves from further pain.
While this protects us from feeling negative emotions, it also protects us from feeling good. Think about it; you cannot put the lid on hurt and not muffle your joy.
Instead of living in alignment with Source, we now live life outside of our heart-core, buried under our layers of protective ego-personality.
We feel that emptiness inside, but we don’t know what to do about it. As we go about our days, we might feel this underlying, permeating unease subtly vibrating in the background.
We are hardly aware of it though, since we're so good at distracting ourselves. We may even think that this underlying feeling of emptiness inside is normal.
Sometimes, it rises fully to the surface. It catches up with you in moments when you think you should be happiest - during a dinner party with friends, sunbathing on a pristine beach, or watching your children sleep, with your doting husband next to you in bed.
Everything looks lovely on the outside, but something else is still missing. You might even feel guilty for not being grateful enough for these blessings, yet no matter how hard you try, you cannot shake off that feeling that something is lacking.
You might try to fill that void with overindulging in sugar, drugs, or alcohol. But this is not sustainable. As soon as we feel down, we need a new kick. In the long term, this is detrimental to our health and relationships.
The God-Shaped Hole
What we're really missing is our connection to Source. This inner void is called the God-Shaped Hole. It is what we’ve been running from all our lives. It is the feeling of bleak emptiness, of being painfully disconnected from our essence of deep fulfilment and overflowing happiness.
We have been conditioned away from the love of God inside of us by gradually shutting down in fear and pain. We then created a protective ego shell to safeguard our vulnerable hearts.
The ego survives on the energy of fear and separation, and it does everything in it can to keep its power. Thus, it wants to protect you from feeling. It would rather kill you with drugs and alcohol than allowing you to return to love.
On your way back to love and fullness, feeling is healing. Opening to all your emotions (even the painful ones) will speed up your alignment with Source massively.
The real source of all our perceived unhappiness is not something that's lacking on the outside. It is in the absence of deep communion with Spirit.
No hot lover, no sweet chocolate, and no new pair of shoes will ever be able to fill that void. We have to muster up the courage to face our egos if we ever want to be free from them.
GET MORE TIPS ON HOW TO ALIGN WITH LOVE
But wait, there's more!
Now that you have an understanding of what pains you, you can go even deeper in bringing yourself back into alignment with joy and abundance!
I've created a whole online course for you around this topic, where I give you step by step guidance and practical tools over the course of 21 consecutive days.
In this self-study course, you'll learn...
Why only love is real and how you can shift your awareness back to love
The secret to stepping away from the mind-games your ego is playing with you
How to feel confident setting boundaries and expressing your genuine longings
Why vulnerability is key in accessing your true power
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She-Practice: Witnessing THE Inner Void
Now that you know what is aching in you, you can begin to work with it, rather than run from it like you might have done for your whole life (trust me, that tendency is normal for human beings).
What we resist persists, and what we look at can transform, the old adage says.
Inviting this perceived emptiness into our present-moment experience is the first step to letting it change into fullness. By silently witnessing your inner experience without judgment or resistance, a sacred space will open up in which things can transform without you having to actively do anything about it.
Here are four simple steps you can take now to effortlessly fill the void with love:
Retreat to your sacred space or anywhere you can be undisturbed for the next 20 minutes or more. Set the timer on your phone to fifteen minutes and turn it on airplane mode. A girlfriend of mine even ran herself a hot bubble bath and did the exercise in the soothing water.
Close your eyes and take a few full breaths into your belly. Sit or lie down comfortably. Relax. You don't have to do anything. Just get curious and notice what’s happening in your body right now. Are your ego's thoughts trying to take you away from the moment to the past or future? Just notice them, and stay focused on your breathing body throughout this She-practice.
Can you feel the God-shaped hole as a physical sensation in your body? Is it a restlessness, physical discomfort, or actual pain? Some people feel it in their chest, while for others, it manifests in the solar plexus or the throat. How are you experiencing it? Is it warm or cold? Does it have a contracting or expanding quality? Does it have a colour? Is it rough or smooth?
Whatever happens, simply notice and allow. When thoughts arise, let them be there and bring your awareness back to the sensations in your body. Don’t be afraid of this perceived hole, it’s not real. It's just perception. This may be the first time you're ever paying attention to these sensations, so be kind and gentle with yourself as you approach them.
Only love is real
Even though the void may seem vast and scary, like it could swallow you whole, it’s not. It’s not dangerous at all because ultimately, separation from love is part of the ego’s powerful illusion, not truth.
Once you understand this, it will lose its power over you and you will become free. The more you can just be in a space of presence and allowing, the more quickly it will transform into love and fullness.
If you feel resistance, (which is normal), try to include it into your practice as well. Can you witness and welcome your resistance as part of the process? You're not trying to make anything happen, you're just the observer of your experience.
Once the fifteen minutes are up, open your eyes and come back to the room. Take a moment to contemplate on the experience. Write in your journal or on a piece of paper.
How was this She-practice for you? Painful, scary? Liberating and comforting? Maybe even joyful towards the end? Miraculous shifts can happen when we fully accept what is happening in our inner world.
Did the experience of the God-Shaped Hole shift somehow or did it stay the same in shape and intensity? Could you stay with it for the time you designated, or did you feel like giving up?
Either way, you are a badass! This is such powerful work, and you dove right in. Give yourself credit for daring to become so comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Click here to sign up.