My Mysterious Easter KAP Experience
I never thought I’d stop believing in death.
With the current war in Ukraine and the subsequent threat of nuclear wipe-out, the possibility of death (my own and my loved ones’) has come to the forefront of my consciousness.
The current political climate, the global climate crisis, and the ending of my 7-year relationship all have made me feel incredibly vulnerable during the past few months.
I came into deeper contact with the fragility of human life.
But this Easter Sunday, all of this was to transform radically…
Through a KAP workshop.
If you’ve never heard of KAP before, it’s short for Kundalini Activation Process.
It’s a relatively new method for spiritual insight founded by Venant Wong, a former devotee of Adi Da Samraj. (I think that says it all.)
I first experienced KAP’s transformational power in Berlin, when I attended a class with a friend.
But that’s another story...
Now I’m laying on my back on a beige yoga mat in a room with 12 other nervous participants.
Mia Mattsson, our Swedish facilitator, had just used me and three other women to demonstrate what Kundalini can look like in the body. (If you’ve never seen a KAP demo before, click here.)
She’s playing loud music through the massive speakers as she starts moving around the room touching people and transmitting the Kundalini energy.
When she reaches me, her mere presence triggers a response in my nervous system. I’m that sensitive.
Suddenly, Putin and his aggression towards Ukraine come to mind again. There’s so much heartbreak, and it’s hard to be with it all. It’s like I’m feeling everyone’s pain in my own body.
But what happens next will change my mind forever.
There’s a gentle voice inside saying,
"Are you ready to relinquish your belief in death?"
Excuse me?
“Are you willing to relinquish your belief in death? You are ready now. You can do this… if you’re willing. The door is open. You only need to take the last step.”
There’s an invisible door is opening inside my mind.
I’m in a timeless, black and empty space, but the portal opens into infinite white light.
John Lennon’s Imagine is now blasting through the loudspeakers.
An invitation from Spirit.
“Are you willing to let go of your fears and live a life of total freedom and joy?”
What does it really mean, to relinquish one's belief in death?
I think it means to live fearlessly.
Because in essence, all our fears boil down to a fear of death.
What if death could no longer scare me?
I would be as free as the Goddess herself.
Free from fear, life might upgrade in ways I could never imagine. I might become joyful beyond measure.
I’d only need to say “Yes!”
So what’s holding me back?
Why am I lying on my mat bawling my eyes out, terrified to take that last step?
What am I so afraid of?
I’m afraid of no longer being afraid.
What would happen if there were no more big fears (like the possibility of WW III) and small everyday anxieties (like oversharing with strangers on the internet) running my life?
I realized that my entire ego-structure is built around a belief in death, the body, and the finite nature of human life.
When we die, it’s all over.
Right?
Wrong.
"Have you not experienced many moments of deep realization throughout your life? Why would you think that these Satoris are ‘not real’ or as valid as your everyday experience? Just because you spend more time in your human consciousness doesn’t mean that this human experience is more real than your True Nature,” the voice says.
Whoa.
Truth bomb.
Of course–why would I devalue the profound spiritual insights I’ve had in the past because they’re more transient than my physical existence?
But it’s time to make a decision.
This door won’t be open forever; this KAP session will soon come to an end. I know I want to relinquish my belief in death, I just need a little help from my friends.
So I call on Jesus to take my hand and walk through that door with me.
As soon as I take the last step, the door closes, and I feel like I really am in heaven.
Is this what John Lennon saw when he transmitted his world-famous song?
Imagine there’s no country… it isn’t hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too… Imagine all the people, living life in peace… I hope some day you’ll join us… and the world will live as ONE.
This is what heaven must feel like.
Everyone living in harmony and peace, with no beliefs left to fight and kill each other over.
Tears are running down my face as my whole body is shaking with relief.
And then everything is over as quickly as it had started.
I, however, have been changed on a cellular level.
I now remember that life is eternal, that my true Self can never die, that “Nothing real can ever be threatened, and nothing unreal exists,” as A Course In Miracles so aptly teaches.
Later, I realize that this realization came to me on Easter Sunday...
On the day of the resurrection, JC rose from the dead to demonstrate to all the world that death has no power over us.
When I shared this experience with a friend–who is also a student of ACIM–I remembered how I received a similar transmission two years ago (also during Easter Sunday!), also about transcending death.
I even wrote poetry about it… How could I ever forget this again?
Well, this time I’m going to get a new tattoo, to always remind me of this truth–
Life is eternal, death is an illusion, and there is nothing to fear.
What a joyful Easter message!
Now, it doesn’t matter whether you’re religious or not (I’m not!), or whether you believe in the resurrection story or not.
What matters is that this story will hopefully inspire strength and faith in you.
Faith that the Eternal Beloved is always with you, that no matter how scary and bleak the world may seem, there is peace and safety behind the veil of illusion.
Remember that ONLY love is real. Whatever is NOT love is not real.
Bodies age and die, relationships change form and fade away.
But the formless, timeless, limitless essence of LOVE remains forever and ever.
From that place of knowing who you really are, nothing can threaten or scare you anymore.
There is only LIFE, and life is eternal.